Someone shared this image with me of a pigeon’s nest. I don’t know if this accurately reflects the average pigeon’s nest. I didn’t google it. That isn’t the point I took away from the image. The point I took away is that for an onlooker – like me – this nest looks like a failure. For the pigeon, it seems like a success. Success for me is when I learn.
I know many of my experiments look like a failure when folks look at them. Sometimes, they look like a failure — after some time passes — even to me. And I have to remind myself that because that experiment I know how to ______________________ (weld, plumb, research, cite, whatever). Success is when you learn.
Now that I have this image, I’ve got a reminder that what might look like a failed experiment might, in fact, be a success because I learned.
Brandon L. Blankenship is an assistant professor, continuing legal education presenter, and business educator. He and his wife Donnalee live on their hobby farm south of Birmingham, Alabama.
As a single mother, Jane balanced her responsibilities with the precision of a tightrope walker. But even the most skilled acrobat can lose their footing, and one fateful day, Jane found herself on shaky ground.
It was a hectic morning, as many were. Jane had just finished her overnight shift and was rushing to take her three-year-old daughter, Bella, to daycare before catching a few hours of sleep. In her exhaustion, she buckled Bella directly into the back seat instead of her usual car seat. Even though Bella only weighed 35 pounds, getting her in the car seat was exhausting sometimes. It was a mistake, a momentary lapse in judgment.
As Jane pulled out of their driveway, she noticed the flashing lights of a patrol car in her rearview mirror. Her heart sank; she knew immediately what she had done. She knew that Section 32-5-222 required Bella to be in a car seat. The officer who approached her car was Officer Davis, a colleague, and friend from the department.
“Jane,” Davis began, his expression solemn, “you know I can’t ignore Bella not being in a car seat.”
Jane nodded, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “I know, Davis. It was a mistake. I’m just… I’m really tired.”
Davis looked at her sympathetically. He understood the pressures of their job and the struggles of parenthood. He let out a sigh, then made a decision. “I’m not going to write you a ticket, Jane,” he said. “But you need to correct this immediately. I don’t want to see Bella riding without a car seat again.”
Jane thanked Davis and drove straight home to fetch the car seat. She thought that was the end of the matter. However, a passerby captured the incident on video, and it soon reached the upper ranks of the Midtown Police Department.
A few days later, Jane was summoned to the office of her superior, Captain Hayes. “Jane,” Hayes said, “We’ve received a complaint about an incident involving you, your child, and a missing car seat. As a police officer, you’re expected to uphold the law, not break it.”
Jane felt her stomach drop. She explained the situation, her exhaustion, and her split-second decision. But Hayes remained unmoved. “Regardless of the reasons, you’ve violated the department’s code of ethics, Jane. There will be consequences.”
In the following weeks, Jane faced an internal investigation. She was formally charged with an ethics violation.
Brandon L. Blankenship is an assistant professor, continuing legal education presenter, and business educator. He and his wife Donnalee live on their hobby farm south of Birmingham, Alabama.
Jacob L. Moreno introduced the phrase cultural conserve to describe anything that has the effect of preserving valuable cultural memories, such as skills, discoveries, concepts, or moral values. Culture is conserved by culture carriers, that is, those who carry something forward from one generation to the next.
One way culture is conserved is tradition. Tradition is acknowledging that I have a history. Tradition is acknowledging that for hundreds and hundreds of years before I existed, people existed before me. Those people, like me, wanted to flourish and to a large degree wanted to promote human flourishing.
To promote human flourishing they created customs and beliefs, created or accumulated tools, and bought and maintained property. Some of these things were woven into tradition as a remembrance of something good or noble. Some of these things were woven into tradition as a warning or reminder that some things are bad. These traditions are what make my most intimate community. It is the songs we sing, the dances we dance, the food we eat, and the way we support and care for one another.
To break with tradition is a contemplative act. To some extent, I have to say to myself and others that I have figured something out or been enlightened in some way that they were not. Rather than an act of hubris, breaking with tradition is an act of humility. It is saying to the many that came before me that I somehow got it more right than they did.
But for there to be a place for tradition, culture carriers have to do just that. Culture carriers have to meaningfully examine which parts of the culture, which traditions, they will carry forward into the next generation. To refuse to carry forward no culture is to unhinge from the generations upon generations that did carry forward their part for human flourishing. It is choosing unnecessary suffering and death for this generation.
There is a place for tradition. To choose tradition does not mean that we have to keep the bad along with the good. We can choose to carry forward the tradition that promotes human flourishing and leave the rest to history.
Brandon L. Blankenship is an assistant professor, continuing legal education presenter, and business educator. He and his wife Donnalee live on their hobby farm south of Birmingham, Alabama.
Post-pandemic, many companies are faced with the challenge of ending product or service lines. When they think about which products and services to keep the natural source of information is the income sheet. Did the product or service make money? Transactional. Many times the income sheet gives a clear answer about which products and services to keep and which to get rid of. A clearly wrong answer.
A restorative leader will consult the income statement but before making a decision will ask the stakeholders. A distinguishing characteristic of restorative leadership is that the definition of stakeholder is necessarily fuzzy. Many businesses conduct customer surveys but the definition of stakeholder may extend out much further than the customer. It may include, for example, the end-user, the third-party beneficiary, the customer’s spouse and family, the community the product or service will serve, and on and on.
A restorative leader will listen to the stakeholders empathetically rather than try to convince the stakeholder that they are wrong about something they say. When a restorative leader feels offended or disgusted by a stakeholder, they seek to dig deeper to better understand the stakeholder’s position. This requires creating a safe place for the stakeholder to share. It requires leaders to receive what is shared as a gift. It is a gift — even if the leader didn’t want it — it is a valuable gift.
What restorative leaders often find is that the products or services are fine but the way they are delivered or installed or services needs to be changed. They often find that a small change to a product or service makes it more profitable. They often find that packaging existing products together makes them more profitable. They often find that stakeholders would be more loyal or would recommend products and services more if they simply received a little gratitude. They often find that stakeholders are willing to be partners and allies when they feel heard.
Trying to decide which products to keep? Don’t just ask your customers. Restoratively ask your stakeholders.
Brandon L. Blankenship is an assistant professor, continuing legal education presenter, and business educator. He and his wife Donnalee live on their hobby farm south of Birmingham, Alabama.
Maybe I had it perfectly memorized but I got stuck. Maybe I prepared for hours but I got stuck. Maybe I never saw this question coming and I got stuck. About the only way to never get stuck is to never leave home and if you never leave home then, you are stuck. So, what can I do when I get stuck?
Spontaneity is the spark that ignites creativity. Spontaneous action comes from the limbic system. The limbic system is a set of structures in the brain that deal with emotions and memory. A lot of spontaneous action comes from the limbic system. So, action matters. One thing you can do when you get stuck is move. To the degree possible, move in the context you are stuck in. Stuck telling a story? Put the story in action. Stuck because you are speaking to a large crowd from the front of the room? Move to the back of the room.
What can you do when you get stuck? Get spontaneous.
Brandon L. Blankenship is an assistant professor, continuing legal education presenter, and business educator. He and his wife Donnalee live on their hobby farm south of Birmingham, Alabama.
It was unseasonally cold this morning so I put on the socks Eason gave me.
The story of the socks started with a summer phone call. I answered. It was Eason.
“Hey Brandon, what size shoes do you wear?”
“10, sometimes 10 and a-half,” I replied.
“Great! Talk to you later,” Eason said and hung up.
It was a typical phone call with Eason. Our friendship had transcended pleasantries. I did puzzle on why he wanted to know my shoes size, but I soon forgot about it and moved on with the next phone call, the next paper, the next person.
That Christmas Eve, my doorbell rang. When I opened the door Eason handed me a Bass Pro Shop sack and exclaimed, “Merry Christmas!” Not a gift bag. A sack. And in the bottom of the sack were three pairs of Redhead socks. Eason was almost giddy to let me know that the socks have a lifetime warranty.
I am certain that Eason discovered the socks while looking for duck hunting gear. They are warm like socks you would want in a duck blind and comfortable like socks you can wear for hours without complaint.
Eason died many years ago now. I have taken advantage of the warranty and replaced the original socks twice. No wonder, I wear them during all the cold months. My wife and daughter wear them on really cold days. What a gift!
I want to leave a sock legacy. Like Eason, I want to leave something for others that is protective and comforting. Something that, once given, will last them the entirety of their life.
Brandon L. Blankenship is an assistant professor, continuing legal education presenter, and business educator. He and his wife Donnalee live on their hobby farm south of Birmingham, Alabama.
A regretitation is an apology concretized into physical action or physical item. It is intended to restore relationships and community. It is a concretized restorative action.
If someone harms another by running over their mailbox, a regretitation may be showing up the next day to restore their mailbox. A regretitation may be showing up with a new mailbox altogether. Or both.
Regretitation is a restorative leadership practice.
Brandon L. Blankenship is an assistant professor, continuing legal education presenter, and business educator. He and his wife Donnalee live on their hobby farm south of Birmingham, Alabama.
A person is made up of three parts. The mind, the heart, and the body. The mind represents thinking which is unseen. The heart in the body represents the affections that are unseen. The body represents the appetites that are unseen.
A life mastered by the appetites ends in morbid obesity, addiction, incarceration, and loneliness. This is not a good life.
A life mastered by thinking seems right but — in the end — is foolish.
A good life is aligning thinking and appetites to serve the affections.
Brandon L. Blankenship is an assistant professor, continuing legal education presenter, and business educator. He and his wife Donnalee live on their hobby farm south of Birmingham, Alabama.
Treat everybody like it’s their birthday. -Kid President
The practice of celebrating humanity is first personal. It begins with acknowledgment. It begins with not looking away.
A couple to three times in my life I have been in a new group of people and the person that brought me introduced almost everyone else but me. I certainly didn’t feel celebrated. Had they forgotten my name, it would have been better if they would have said, “And let me introduce you to this fellow who will have to tell you his name.” The simple acknowledgment is the first step. How can you ever celebrate someone’s humanity if you have never seen them or heard them? You cannot. The practice of celebrating humanity is personal.
Finding ways to celebrate humanity — best you can — is restorative.
We easily celebrate the humanity of the special guest, the monied, and the celebrity. Restorative celebration is finding something to celebrate in the person perceived to be the least of these. It often requires being brave. Acknowledging people that up until now I have not seen, heard, or acknowledged requires being brave. If they are people who I find disrespectful or disgusting, acknowledging them requires being brave.
And this personal practice of celebrating, like all celebrations, grows publicly. Celebrated communities are made up of celebrated people.
Brandon L. Blankenship is an assistant professor, continuing legal education presenter, and business educator. He and his wife Donnalee live on their hobby farm south of Birmingham, Alabama.
For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in [a]Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead … 1 Cor 1:8-9 NASB
No good deed goes unpunished.
Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, [b]while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith. Gal 6: 7-10 NASB
I am second
… for the one that is least among all of you, this is the one who is great. Luke 9:48 NASB
Hate is learned, it has to be taught
But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders. These are the things which defile the man… Mathew 15: 18-20 NASB
The day is coming for good men to do bad things.
You will [a]know them by their fruits. [b]Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? Mat. 7:16 NASB
There are those who say fate is something beyond our command. That destiny is not our own, but I know better. Our fate lives within us, you only have to be brave enough to see it.” -Merida (Disney)
A person’s own folly leads to their ruin, yet their heart rages against the Lord. Proverbs 19:3 NIV
Why do bad things happen to good people?
“THERE IS NONE RIGHTEOUS, NOT EVEN ONE.” Romans 3:10 NASB
This verse is quoting: The fool has said in his heart, “There is no God.” They are corrupt, They have done abominable works, There is none who does good. The LORD looks down from heaven upon the children of men, To see if there are any who understand, who seek God. They have all turned aside, They have together become corrupt; There is none who does good, No, not one. Psalm 14:1–3 NKJV
Brandon L. Blankenship is an assistant professor, continuing legal education presenter, and business educator. He and his wife Donnalee live on their hobby farm south of Birmingham, Alabama.
